One of the hardest things to accept about being the pastor of a church is becoming the focal point of church decisions when there are good people you love on both sides of the issues involved. Whether deserved or not, the pastor personifies the issue and becomes the recipient of hard and hurt feelings from those who disagree, and unfairly receives the credit and is lauded for "good leadership" from those who do agree. The reality is often much different than the appearance of things.
As a pastor I spend much, if not most, of my administrative time seeking "win-win" situations for everyone involved, and encouraging people to see things from a larger perspective. On those rare occassions when a "win-lose" situation does emerge, either by design or by insistance from church members, I am usually on the losing side because of the heartbreak involved in seeing hurt feelings and because of the way those feelings are expressed.
I was told long ago that I needed to develop a thicker skin if I was going to stay in the ministry for any length of time because I would receive many wounds. To this day I refuse to develop a thick skin or wear a suit of armor because that implies that people's opinions don't matter and their words do not affect me. The reality is...I love these people, what they think matters, what they say does affect me deeply. When we are wounded, we bleed. Those inflicting the wounds need to see the blood and understand the power of their words and actions - there are consequences.
In the body of Christ it is each person's responsibility to express their passions is such a way as to build up the body of Christ and not tear it down. To do otherwise is a sin. This is especially vital during those times when a win-lose situation arises. We are to rejoice with those who rejoice, we are to mourn with those who mourn, the body of Christ is to be built up, and the world is to know we are followers of Christ by our love for one another.
Not all churches are able to withstand even the smallest amount of conflict, but I am convinced our church is very healthy and can weather even the strongest of storms. And there are clouds gathering on the horizon as the church moves to discern how the Lord is leading us into the future. To do nothing would be failure, but are we able to take action and remain unified at the same time?
Today I feel like withdrawing in order to pray, study, and meditate on these things. My responsibilities will not allow this, of course, but as I inwardly withdraw I am praying for my brothers and sisters in Christ and asking God to save us from the worst parts of ourselves and fill us with His presence instead.
As a pastor I spend much, if not most, of my administrative time seeking "win-win" situations for everyone involved, and encouraging people to see things from a larger perspective. On those rare occassions when a "win-lose" situation does emerge, either by design or by insistance from church members, I am usually on the losing side because of the heartbreak involved in seeing hurt feelings and because of the way those feelings are expressed.
I was told long ago that I needed to develop a thicker skin if I was going to stay in the ministry for any length of time because I would receive many wounds. To this day I refuse to develop a thick skin or wear a suit of armor because that implies that people's opinions don't matter and their words do not affect me. The reality is...I love these people, what they think matters, what they say does affect me deeply. When we are wounded, we bleed. Those inflicting the wounds need to see the blood and understand the power of their words and actions - there are consequences.
In the body of Christ it is each person's responsibility to express their passions is such a way as to build up the body of Christ and not tear it down. To do otherwise is a sin. This is especially vital during those times when a win-lose situation arises. We are to rejoice with those who rejoice, we are to mourn with those who mourn, the body of Christ is to be built up, and the world is to know we are followers of Christ by our love for one another.
Not all churches are able to withstand even the smallest amount of conflict, but I am convinced our church is very healthy and can weather even the strongest of storms. And there are clouds gathering on the horizon as the church moves to discern how the Lord is leading us into the future. To do nothing would be failure, but are we able to take action and remain unified at the same time?
Today I feel like withdrawing in order to pray, study, and meditate on these things. My responsibilities will not allow this, of course, but as I inwardly withdraw I am praying for my brothers and sisters in Christ and asking God to save us from the worst parts of ourselves and fill us with His presence instead.
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